Thursday, October 27, 2011

Who pays for what?

You have dreamed about your wedding and now it is time to plan and enjoy your special day. Setting a budget is difficult and stressful. Where is the money going to come from and who is going to pay for what? Traditionally, the bride’s family would pay for the wedding, however with the cost of a wedding skyrocketing, and more couples getting married later in life, these traditional roles are not as common.

Traditional Responsibilities

§ The bride’s family pays for:  
- Reception costs, including food, music, decorations, rental fees, entertainment, & favors
- Ceremony Costs including rental fees, decorations 
- Flowers for Ceremony and Reception 
- The bride’s wedding dress and accessories 
- Invitations, announcements, programs, and mailing costs 
– Photography/Videography 
- Transportation 
- Their own attire and travel expenses
§ The groom’s family pays for: 
 - The rehearsal dinner, including food, invitations, decorations and entertainment 
- Their own attire and travel expenses 
- A wedding present
§ The bride pays for:  
- The groom’s wedding ring 
- A wedding gift for the groom 
- Her hair, makeup, beauty treatments 
- Gifts for her attendants 
- Sometimes accommodation for any out-of-town bridesmaids
§ The groom pays for: 
 - The marriage license 
- The bride’s engagement ring and wedding ring 
- The honeymoon 
- A wedding gift for the bride and his attendants 
- The bride’s bouquet 
- Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers, Boutonnieres for men in wedding party 
- Sometimes accommodation for any out-of-town groomsmen 
- Fee for the officiant

When the bride and groom are older, or whose parents don’t have resources

The bride and groom pay for all wedding costs themselves and can choose if they want to split the expense between the two or pay for them out of one account. If this is the case it is good to decide how much money can be spent right away and put that money into a wedding account either all at once or monthly deposits. Checks can now be written from one account which makes it easy to track all expenses. By having a separate account couples make sure that 1. They stick to their budget and 2. They don’t spend money they need to live on.

A modern take on who pays for what at a wedding

After announcing the engagement, the bride and groom sit down and estimate what they’ll spend on the wedding.  They then approach their parents, let them know some of their thoughts and, gently ask, “We were wondering if you would be able to contribute to any of the expenses.”  The parents may look at the budget and offer to pay for specific cost like catering or flowers. They may also offer a set amount they are able to contribute. If their parents say they can’t afford to contribute, or only offer a small amount, the bride and groom say, “We appreciate you being able to help in any way.” After meeting with the parents the Bride and Groom may need to reevaluate their vision and budget.

Split the budget three ways

The bride’s family, groom’s family, and the couple themselves each pay for one third of the budget. Typically, this means they will each invite one third of the guests and with any help from parents they may have input into how they would like things done or often the type of food and drinks served.

Most importantly research, couples will splurge on one or two things.  That is ok as long as you don’t get carried away and start splurging on everything.  Spend your budget wisely and remember you can never recreate you special day.  Need more help creating a budget and figuring out how much to spend on what?  Give us a call and we can help guide you thru the process.

Events by Lisa Marie
Twitter eventsbylmh

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